'Grimace.. - loving what ??'

The origins and mystery of Mc Donald Corporation's moron milkshake mascot don't really concern me ..perhaps Grimace's Uncle O'Grimacy (the green and Irish Shamrock shake mascot) can explain the neuances tracing Grimace's ancestry to the ominous and strange Grimace Island. But the truth..while widly known.. but not well known.. delves back to the early 1970s.. & Grimace's short lived ;villanous career !! For many a days..back in the day.. Officer Big Mac ..the only true hero of Mc Donaldland ..was chasing a big fat 4-armed,purple beetle monster who often kidnapped hordes delicious and Frosty Mc Donald's shakes to feed his insatiable crack-shake addiction. The truth known.. it turns out; redemption was not an unheard term in Ronald McDonald's lexicon..and besides, as far as being a bad guy..well; Grimace just wasn't very good at it (he's stoopit !!). The big oaf had the child like charm found so rare in costumed characters any more.. perhaps only Big Bird could really relate. Anyway..thru' some devin intervention,religeon, the powerful Ronald Magic, a good kick in the head,mareting ploy..or what i truly beleive was Officer Big Mac's positive influence on Grimace ..the only kind of influence an honourable role model & honest member of the Mc Donaldland police force could have on a big graple coloured upsidedown milkshake monster. And as the law of the land of Mc Donaldland ..good things happen to good monsters.. Griamce's extra set of hands fell off..and next thing ya know he's second string and side-kick to the globe's most wealthiest clown. Freeing up Big Mac's rouge list..and leaving him to chase the far more sinister pirate Captain Crook and the infamous bumbling robbler ;Hamburgler ..who both..in time beame a bit more serene in their ways..(tho' Mr.H. Burgler is still prone to sudden spastic burger attacks and burger stealin' binges.).. Grimace's case was intresting.. and special. No..really special.. like some kind of education.. or Corky Thatcher on Life Goes On. Grimace is unique in his iconic disposition.. secondary..maybe. Legendary .. definitely !! A bajillion Happy-meal boxes and bags,plastic premiums galore in his pear-ish shape.. his pudgy purple mug is plastered on everything..from T-shirts to disposable milkshake cups !! Grimace is even elite enough to get corprate advice from Donald Trump himself (that actually happened..). From his bumble- burglar beginings,to his bubbly bumble- blobby and happier demeanor in the later 1970s,'80s and 1990s..and today..Grimace remains fairly true to himself.

As revealed on his website.. he is very strait-forward and open about what his favourite drinks are..in his own words::

"My favorite drink is a milkshake. I think milkshakes are the best. "

He is quite candid and passionate,however about what kind of milkshake he'd make if he had his choice..::

"If I could make up a new milkshake flavor, it would be grape."

Grape.. grape indeed. But here in this illustration..Grimace is in repose..deeply reflecting on his life..perhaps somewhat sad,regretful,and a little bitter of Mc Donald's 'I'm Loving it!' Ad campaign..::

"I'm loving it?? .. I'm loving What ?? ..What is 'it' i am loving ?? Overweight and overwhelmed..fall guy to to the greasy cash-clown..addicted to a frosty and fattening milk product ..slowly destroying my insides,my mucous membrane, and my dignity. A psycho relationship with a continually menstruating 'Early Bird'. I hate myself..i hate my life..

..duh ,Purple flowers are the prettiest."

Don't worry,Grimace.. we love you and children around the world thank you.. Mc Donald's restaurants .. around the world are indebted to you for the influence,controversy,and general exposure to to an ice cold and refreshingly sweet milk product sold everyday,globally!! Generations of oafs.. have purple on the brain. Some day.. there may very well be 'Grape Milkshakes' (..hell ,why not.. they make 'em outta shamrocks and peppermint anymore ..it's the '90s..ya know..womens' lib,rabbits lib,Chia-pets,Scratch n' sniff television.. ..technology comes along way!!).

This illi- is dedicated to Frippy @ mentalsewage ..

if it wasn't for her,i would have never learned the darker side of Mc Donaldland's Purple Palmitate & Milkshake pioneer. Ok..i can't take all these puns and Happy-meal tounge twisters anymore.. think i'm gonna go vomit right now !!

crayon,inks,duct tape,p.shop - 4 August,2004