'Son
of Kong !! No;Donkey,ya jack a55!!'
-
Dedication to S.Britt
Carl Denham laid the dundering formula for
'Kidnapping a Kong' who in turn kidnaps a pretty
dame and sets the stage for the next big adventure. But the
famous plucky n' plunderin' Plumber from Brooklyn took it
to the next level in a classic tale from 1981. Dammit.. pretty
crazy Kongs steal crazy pretty dames.. it's what they do..
it's in their genetics !! Duh .. scientologists have proven
this ..(just look at Tom Cruise..the
big ape) !! Just cuz Donkey stole
Pauline ..the pretty girl.. while
Mario was in between jobs ..n' sent
him on the barrel hoppin' adventure .. you'd think he'd let
bygones be bygones. But no.. he got pissed, then
Mario got bitter. Doesn't
fail..does it.. domino effect. In a case still to this day
tied up in the Courts and still burning up in contraversy
: The ASPCA v. Mario Mario.
The atrocious and criminal display of vengance by a now millionaire
masonry mascot ..(it's true.. Mario
is a Mason !!):: in 1982.. made little tOkKa bitter.
Such a cruel and turncoat display by a would be hero forever
traumatized the lil'Snapper and changed very radically his
views on the game playing community. Perhaps the plumber had
3 too many leaky pipes upstairs.
That
n' monkey-wrench to the noggin ..yeh .. maybe that's what
made him crack. Whatever it was.. 'Vengance is mine sayeth
the Pipes..' (but i'm a fine one to talk..cuz when the sewers
speak..tOkKie listens..)and like
a plumbers snake in the grass.. Mario was set to cage poor
dumb ol' Donkey Kong for Good. Good
think D.K. got lucky nine months
before he kidnapped pretty Pauline (gorilla
gets around)..cuz when Papa was plunged D.K. Junior
was fresh set n' ready to go in fancy 'J'
jumpsuit!! At the encouragement of Animal
Rights Activists everywhere .. Jr.
defeated Mario's army of
Sparks,SnapJaws (living bear-traps !!),
and Nitpicker birds..and very breifly winning
the day and saving daddy for more adventures. He also won
tOkKa's heart. Leading for agaisnt
Mario cousin :Stanley the Bugman
n' King K.Rool ect. ect.
 
Didn't take much for the bastard Mario
to get back on his feet now.. did it ?? King of Nintendo
..n' King of the world..plundering in pasta.. tOkK
still holds quite a grudge against the Plumbin' Butt-pirate.
Alas it's not up to this Snapper to figure it all out. Gotta
leave it up to the courts. (Mario
has tape worm !!) GRraahhh !!
tOkK
caught up to Ol' Grampa Kong ;
Cranky one day..he was blatherin'
summin fierce insisting on talkin' about his "hay day"
..ya dee da. "Cranky V. Mario..blah
blah blah..barrels,Dames.. ".. ..insistin' that Big
D.K. nowadays IS Junior
all growed up. But Cranky's got
the senile and dementia goin' bad. tOkK ain'
to sure he knows what he's talkin about. Ain' nobody listen
to that crazy ol' ape anyway. tOkK
don't care..Cranky or Kiddy..he
loves Kongs anyways no matter who
they are.
Ready,willing
and disabled.. i'm yir mangoe. tOkKa has
it on good authority that Junior is
still swingin'. Livin'
comfortably in the shade of his ego-driven
Papa's wealth. Jr.
turns heads wherever he goes.. n' the kid's gotta brain i
tells ya !! Did you know that
the reciprocal (algebraic) equation..::
ax4 + bx3 + cx2
+ bx + a = 0.
Yep
..Jr. told me that. He's much smarterer than me.
All that banana countin' learns ya much better
than in tOkKie's 1 + 1 =2 World..
Game
& Watch ..the kid's healthy brain also keeps
him vine swingin' and active. A healthy monkey mind n' body
requires more than a diet of just bananas n' coconut milk.
JR. is known for burnin' rubber
n' ploppin' 'nanner peels on the track at BOWSER
n' the BROS. on the
classic 'Mario Kart' circuit. He
matches court wits against Koopas,Waluigi,Daisy
and Venus Williams at Mario's Tennis tournaments
(mumble grumble~~**). Yeh ..Junior's rather
just too buzy for video games sometimes. Still he manages
to remain so enigmatic to keep dodge the fan-girls n' keep
'em guessin'. Poor ol' Cranky no
wonder he's all mixed up.
Sr.
may be king of the ass-apes.. but Junior
deffly has gotta be the banana in the rough. A real paw-prince
!! tOkka still is a bit uneasy about the whole
Plumber/Gorilla simian shake down..from back in '82.
But in time ..all wounds heal (yeh..into bitter plumber hatin'
scars..). But tOkKa tries to take
after Jr. and follow his philosophy..::
"He's #2 ..so he tries harder
!?"
Jr.'s
got
what it takes to make his pec-poundin' papa proud !! Let's
hope tOkK does too !!
..ook
ook ookk eeek !!
-
CRAYON,colour
pencil,magic marker,inks,design markers,Ph.shop,Macromedia
Firworks,Nanners,nanner puddin',flung'dung..
- 22 June 2006
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