'..Now You March Right Up There..'

"..don't beat around the bush,Spaze Caze.. don't mess 'round.. just go up n' HIT 'IM..CLOBBER 'Im..the big palooka right square in his

toothy maw there!! (..the kid doesn't stand a chance..)"

.."RAAAAAARRRR..!!"

For years ..that was the sheer sound of video game terror to me..when i was little.. there was a steakhouse with a long slide nest to a narrow stair well leading to the basement game and kids room. Why it was in the basement of the steakhouse i don't know why..but as you slid down the long slide..you might as well be sliding to your doom!! Deep within' the bowels of the steakhouse lay everychilds' worst videogame nightmare.. the 'SINISTAR' !! Now if you went into the basement with friends..it was ok.. you had backup. but there were times when i had to go there 'alone'. For some stupid reason after Catholic church ,we went to the steakhouse for lunch ,where all the big white red-neck white people ate and the little kids pretty much had to fend for themselves..but there was so much fear in that basement.. i would have rather been basted n' roasted n' cured.. stuck a big juice red apple and had the fat man with the 'Boss Hog' hat gobble me down whole. Sinistar scared the living sh7t out of me. Of all things.. a video game..a f7cking video game spelled pure terror in my heart and mind. Pac-Man was one of my first. He was cute..and cuddly..even the villians the ghost-monsters were cute. The 'Space Invaders'..oo boy-o..sure..they were invading but there was an apeal factor..they drew me in and cradled me with their destructive love. There was no fear in my circle of video games,Donkey Kong Jr.,Luigi..and when Ninja Turtles came to video games ..i was set for life.. but no.. the evil phantom satellite from hell came unabashed::..formed by cosmic crystals 'workers' collected from mystical space planetoids..and protected by warriors that blasted anything impeding the full construction of the dreaded satellite!! But once constructed the Sinistar was nearly unstoppable and only by collecting the crystals yourself that aided in his creation would you be able to destroy the phantom as they form 'sini-bombs'..only to find him being constructed again in the next level. Sinistar sought to break my little 'happy-video-game circle' ..and that HE DID !! Unlike Pac-Man..there was no cheery Wakka wakka, SINISTAR GOADED YOU: "RUN COWARD, BEWARE,I LIVE ..I AM SINISTAR..RUN COWARD !! SINISTAR WAS THE VERY FIRST VIDEO GAME THAT WANTED TO EAT YOU !! I'd often forced myself to put quarters in the game at the steak house..to try to over come this fear. I'd slide down the slide..quarter in hand ..telling myself that i can beat him.. only to come running back up to the dinner table my folks were sitting at crying when my ship was swallowed by the phantom.. i was crying hard too..like i'd been touched by a pedophilic clown or summon'..this was horror. Sinistar was pure evil!!

Over the years i never forgot the sleepless nights and tormented dreams of the satellite of hate..and how my anger grew. As years passes 'Sinistar' lost alot of his fear factor and near became laughable, as Resident Evils came and went..Sinistar resurfaced in outer space in the late 1990s in Sinistar: Unleashed the sequal to the timeless terror. Still the original classic still haunts me..and has had me addicted..it's one of the most maddening video games i still play.. and when i pop in the Midway Arcade Treasures disc into the PS2 ..once again i face the Madd Satellite..but only now i'm driven by passionate anger.. do destroy this mother f8cker once and for all..but deep down ,it's all in vain. He is immortal.. but i'm not runnin' no more, no sir..i'm gonna bop right on up there n' punch him in the nose ..lest i break my controller. Late at night..i fight.. the Sinistar..in the cold cold night..like the lonely mining colonies of space..i fight.. i stop,i breath.. suddenly..2 giant jaws and a red flashing maw devour me!! I am consumed.. but my love/hate relationship with Sinistar ..LIVES!!

..crayon,inks,acrylic and P.shop - 19 June 2004