{ the dead archival }
** SCRATCH & DENT ARCHIVE OF ALL PAST POSTS : 2002 - 2008 Here @ **
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-->> tOkKA's main BLOGG - KRIB ( 4 now ) can be found HERE ::
@ ..quoting Macbeth .. :: ? ? .. ..
viernes, marzo 14, 2003
-->> ..
Prayers to Prepare for Death
Prayer for a Happy Death (Ven. John Henry Cardinal Newman)
O my Lord and Savior, support me in my last hour in the strong arms of Thy Sacraments and by the fresh fragrance of Thy consolations. Let the absolving words be said over me, and the holy oil sign and seal me; and let Thine own Body be my food, and Thy Blood my sprinkling; and let my sweet Mother, Mary, breathe on me, and my Angel whisper peace to me, and my glorious saints and my own dear patrons smile upon me, that, in them all and through them all, I may receive the gift of perseverence, and die as I desire to live, in Thy faith, in Thy Church, in Thy service, and in Thy love. Amen.
An Act of Resignation (Pope St. Pius X)
My Lord God, even now I accept at Thy hand, cheerfully and willingly, with all its anxieties, pains and sufferings, whatever kind of death it shall please Thee to be mine. Amen.
..
Thornton Dial
"The Man Built the Birdhouse"
1998
.. >v< ..
jueves, marzo 13, 2003
-->> 
..i always wish it was me..
..>v<
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Quotable::
To die in order to avoid the pains of poverty, love, or anything that is disagreeable, is not the part of a brave man, but of a coward. -- Aristotle.
..i am a coward.. i am fried.. i am wiped.. i am nothing..me am dead in brain thought, hopeless love,fear of dark tigers.
..i cast my shackles to the sugar-pills of plastic warts.. this is bull sh6t.. pretending i will make it..
President is still trying to kill me.. 'suicide' is not murder..it is fredom.. freedom for coward.
..my mawm said i was not a 'MAN ..but a Mouse'.. i want to loose my limbs.. i want to loose my heart..i crave to be shot into a million parts..maybe the president is trying to make me ..schitzo me..go over to Iraq so he can sh00t me apart himself.. i hate me so much.. and the more i 'live'.. the more i hate me.. and the less hapy sh7t i have to post here for noone to read.. f8ck.. maybe i just need to try to get garbage dispoaser to work and stick my arm down there..
Quotable::
There is only one prospect worse than being chained to an intolerable existence: The nightmare of a botched attempt to end it.
-Arthur Koestler
Let them think what they liked, but I didn't mean to drown myself. I meant to swim till I sank, but that's not the same thing.
-Joseph Conrad
Dying
is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.
-Sylvia Plath
The person who completes suicide dies once. Those left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relive those terrible moments and understand...
-unknown
Whereas a prolonged life is not necessarily better, a prolonged death is necessarily worse.
-Seneca
Death is a punishment to some, to others a gift and to many a favour.
-Seneca
Just as I shall select my ship when I am about to go on a voyage, or my house when I propose to take a residence, so shall I choose my death when I am about to depart from life.
-Seneca
The ocean doesn't want me today,
But I'll come back tomorrow to play.
The riptide is waging
And the life guard's away
But the ocean doesn't want me today
-Tom Waits
I hate myself,
and I want to die
-Curt Cobain
The trick is to keep breathing.
Garbage
Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism
-Unknown
I never liked me anyway.
-Baldy
i have nothing happy to say..let me bleed..
- ~tOkKa
..>v<
martes, marzo 11, 2003
-->> .. i can't wait 'til i'm dead.. n' i know how evil i am.. and how selfish i am.. but tell ya what..
..i am going to at least try to bleed severe.. this all is sh8t .. & i am full of dead & hate.. see.. i really should die!!
..YEEEEE-HAWW!!
.. i swear.. hey anymore mundane b8ll sh9t.. i'll run out in the buzy freeway right now..
F7ck me.. .. want die.. !! l0l0l0l0l0l!! 8D
..>v<
domingo, marzo 09, 2003
-->> ..i'm not supposed to bleed this morning.. it is 5 o'clok hour A.M. .. and i'm only 1/2 real.. was 1/2 real erlier ..then not real.. then 'REAL MELLON COLLIE' ..now 1/2 again..i post so early in morning somethimes.. my computer clock sez 5:15 AM .. but it still feels of late afternoon.. why.. what is it to feel?? why can't it feel like early morning?? 
..my mawm is super convert-mega-Catholic.. she raised us to admire saints.. now i am not Catholic.. i am nothing.. but i still kind of like saints.. my mawm's favorite saint .. is Padre Pio..
it sez he is the famous Stigmatist of the 20th Century.. people would always go to see him in Italy..he died in 1968 and came to sainthood in 1999 .. .. ".. he drew thousands of pilgrims who wished to obtain a blessing, experience healing, go to Confession, or be present at Mass celebrated by the blessed friar... .."
..Stigmata is the 'Passion of Christ' .. the hands ,the feet ..and the forehead and body may bear blooded wounds called 'visible stigmata'.. these usually are very holy people.. those still suffering the same wounds but not shwing any sign of blood have 'invisible stigmata'.. these too must be holy people ..i assume.. i must be some kind of 'evil stigmatist' .. my wounds are self inflicted out of everything from anxiety,confusion,cope,rage,fear,maddness, and the need to feel .. sometimes.. when i solder me ..i laugh very hard like the Joker.. for i feel real and it is maddness.. but maybe i am happy..
..in stigmata.. doctors cannot heal the wounds.. they usually don't smell of blood..it sez St.Ria of Cassia got some crown of thorn wounds on her brow from a detached thorn it smelled really bad.."..there was never any suppuration or morbid alteration of the tissues.. .."
..supposed the wounds may even give off perfume smells.. so if Padre Pio came to your house.. you would not have to worry if he used the toilet cuz he would leave a fresh springtime smell everywhere he went. . ..there is no science proof of stigmata.. ..or if it is auto-suggestion.. but it is said it may be 'bloody sweat' or like dialation of pores in skin..if there is emotion involved.. blood may actually come out.. ( i was once told a story that Jesus ..the night before crusifiction.. he was so scared to die.. as he prayed to his father.. he was in such fear.. he sweated blood .. it does happen in real life..pending on the stressers and the body chemistry of the person).. it also has to do with the imagination of the person and persons witnessing stigmata.. .. such high emotion and mass-imagination may help stimulate the effect of stigmata.. however..i'm confused to the blood thing.. for you would think there would be some vital nerves that would need severence ..but i dunno..i'm stupit...
"..in ..instances mentioned there are glands (sudoriparous and salivary) which in the normal state emit a special liquid, and it is easy to understand that the imagination may bring about this secretion; but the nerves adjacent to the skin do not terminate in a gland emitting blood, and without such an organ they are powerless to produce the effects in question.. "
.."Another explanation of these phenomena is that the patients produce the wounds either fraudulently or during attacks of somnambulism, unconsciously. But physicians have always taken measures to avoid these sources of error, proceeding with great strictness, particularly in modern times. Sometimes the patient has been watched night and day, sometimes the limbs have been enveloped in sealed bandages. Mr. Pierre Janet placed on one foot of a stigmatic a copper shoe with a window in it through which the development of the wound might be watched, while it was impossible for anyone to touch it.. "..-ref. The Catholic Encyclopedia
..
.. i wish i was of stigmata.. at least ..while my wounds would be contoversial..like they are now.. many people would understand and maybe support my wounding.. i crave deep severence at this very moment.. but ..no i must avoid temptation ..i will play with new toy i got at Media Play last night..
..her name is Szaltax..from Clive Barker..'Tortured souls 2:The Fallen'..
..Mcfarlane is not my favorite guy.. but i do like the fact that he sez that they really don't give you any history or bio information on many of the chracters in the toys.. cuz they want you to use yor mind.. so you can imagine the chracter as anything you want..i know alot of Barker stuff like Pin Head are bad guys..but i don't know .. Szaltax maybe a fallen angel .. ..sez 'Tortured'.. 'The Fallen'.. maybe she was an angel.. and she fell ..maybe she is like this cuz of the evil.. not cuz she is evil.. i think i will make her a good guy..or at least neutral.. cuz.. it's my toy.. and i think she will look wierd hanging out with Ninja Turtles,Officer Big Mac, Scrappy Doo,Rahzar and TOKKA at my Kentucky Fried Chicken Playset.. ..
..i kind of wish iwas all cut up and mangly like her in real life.. if she were real.. i prolly would feel real bad for her.. and she would severe me into a million peices with her blades..
..does angel know that the core of a shitzophrenic mind is so worn..the obviously logical aspects of 'logic' are many times meangless for you can eat rotten apples all you want..defying logic.. a rotten apple will make you ill.. has no health value.. and really is nothing but waste.. but if my mind is a pig..it will eat the apple anyway..it is still an apple.. rotten but still an apple.. rotten does not equate.. so pig will eat apple.. for it is apple.. no logic.. just apple..pertaining to food.. it could very well be a bomb.. pig may still eat it.. but in voracious rot.. there is much more rot.. and very,very complex cores.. >v<
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Lebanese news
Salim Hoss compares George W. Bush to Hitler
Former Premier Salim Hoss on Friday compared US President George W. Bush’s conduct towards Iraq with that of Adolf Hitler during World War II.
A statement by Hoss accused Bush of showing sympathy toward Israeli suffering and justifying the Israeli backlash against the Arabs, but failing to do the same for the Palestinians.
After the bus bomb in Haifa Wednesday, the US president condemned the Palestinians. However, the “Israeli massacres that followed the bombing are described by Bush as justified,” Hoss said, yet “Bush describes the Israeli Premier as a man of peace.”
The former premier said that “if that is not excessive racism, what is?”
He accused the United States of being “not only a supporter of Israel, but also a partner in crime.”
He said that Bush was acting like Hitler, “who conquest of Europe was motivated by a superiority complex.”
src @ http://www.dailystar.com.lb/08_03_03/art29.asp
.. come on KILL ME .. you B8ych.. you are very bad man,Mr.Bush.. you run the country like a f7ckin' barnyard.. you want to kill and have people killed and kill for you.. over f7cking Oil!!
.. look for me in hell,Mr.Bush.. look for me.. !! When i die.. i know i'll see you there!!
..>v<