{ the dead archival }
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@ ..quoting Macbeth .. :: ? ? .. ..
jueves, febrero 12, 2004
-->>
..turns you around..
..NO!!
.. the week is kicking my ass again!! No.. i will not let it.. this is my favourite holiday.. i'm fucking had it.. heart in toil.. NO!! ..not now.. no..
.. .. no..
Death Cab For Cutie ..
::Lack Of Color.. -
and when I see you
I really see you upside down
but my brain knows better
it picks you up and turns you around
turns you around
turns you around
if you feel discouraged
and there's a lack of color here
please don't worry lover
it's really bursting at the seams
from absorbing everything
the spectrum's a to z
this is fact not fiction
for the first time in years
and all the girls in every girlie magazine
can't make me feel any less alone
I'm reaching for the phone
to call at 7:03
and on your machine I slur a plea
for you to come home
but I know it's to late
and I should have given you a reason to stay
given you a reason to stay
this is fact not fiction
for the first time in years
..>v<
lunes, febrero 09, 2004
-->> 
..Full House will mortally wound.. part 2 of 2..
..sit-coms never really make any semblance on sence.. it's really not supposed to.
.. i don't the recipe the writers used.. but it seemd like i'd get resentful at how mundane 'Full House' made out of life.
Other times it was back ground fodder and i don't even give a dwarves hat what the hell the family was doing in Disney Land.. or why Uncle Jesee had to jump out of an airplane before he married Becky..(THAT's HIS WIFE's NAME!!) ..
..well ,maybe i followed it a little more than i could care to admit.
..these ABC Family shows seemed to be the ultimate safe zone.. they were on in the time slot of that precious 'prime time' .. like on a Friday.. and well ..every Christian mother sleep safe at night..that the average television program of the 1990s reeked of villence n' sex.. and Jesus wouldn't watch that type of stuff. Maybe 'Full House' was one of those ,happy, safe shows.. lots of 'awwww' and hugs.. and canned laughter..and Uncle Jesee dressing his babies like Elvis.. 'Awwwwww'.
i don't know. Sometimes a heavy topic would come up on these shows.. if it was about drugs,or molestation, or alchoholism.. sometimes in the 1980s-90s.. they'd make an announcement before the show that you should .."watch this with your children and discuss the topic".. or during promo they'd say.."This is a show every parent should watch.."
..but they always played the problems off into some kind of happy conclusion.. and if the person was a sick person.. the kids always seem to ask where they.. ( __insert troubled,sick,mentally ill..or what-not guest star/family member's name here) were going.. and the explanation was sometimes..
T.V. Dad"Well, our beloved __ 'so- and -so is going to a place they can get help."
Sit-com Kids: .." are they gonna be ok??"
T.V. Dad: "I hope so,honey.."
..usually something like that..and next weeks episode picked up on the mad-cap adventures the family usually had before intresting plot-line and mentally-ill guest star entered the picture.
..this ..yeh.. had to be more of a 'Happy-comedy' ..
..'Rosanne' wasn't like that.. prolly why it took off so well.. yeh it wasn't real.. but it was a little more blunt to the humour so.. i actually enjoy even reruns of 'Rosanne' alot more than re-runs of 'Full House' .
One episode i kinda remember fairly clear..Unlce Jesee at some point had to go back to school to get his high school equivalency ( G.E.D.) degree or what ever.
I don't remember exactly what the plot of the episode was.. but at one point Jesee and some of the Tanner Family were riding on the subway. Subway car had alot of people on it and the topic of dropping school came up. I can't remember if Jesee was considering dropping out of the program to get his G.E.D. or what.. but at some point a 'punk' ..kid spoke up and agreed with Jesee that "Yeh..school stinks.. i'm not going to school.. i don't need it."
I guess Uncle Jesee.. who at this point kind of was the 'rebel' Elvis wanna be and pretty boy of the show was supposed to transform into this responsible adult.
Sure 'nuff..Jesee started talking out loud to the kid and the whole car of people that..
"O' i used to be just like you.. and didn't think school was important.. then i suddenly realised one day i needed it to make something of myself.. and.. --" .. i forget the rest,that prolly isn't exactly what he said. But after said his speel and argued with the kid..some other people on the car started giving reasons and support to Jesee on why his point was valid and some wished they'd stayed in school.
The Kid came around and agreed to go back to school.. and the show ended with all the people cheering on the car and the canned laughter turning into canned applause.
I can't totally relate to any of this sh7t. Even when the show aired.. for some reason it just stood out. From what i remember. This prolly was before i started to avoid 'Full House' cuz it just was too somber to watch anymore.
I kind of appreciate it in re-runs now.. but .. what ever the hell it was.. it reiterised 'fake' to me.
..struggling with reality and just needing to 'FEEL REAL' allt he time. God.. to be in some happy Tanner household..where everything ..all the problems..all the bad things just got cleared up in 22 minutes or in a 'To Be Continued' episode..
..it sucked more if they ended the season on a cliff-hanger.. cuz ya just never knew if Danny was gonna be able to get Michelle out of that tree or not.. you wouldn't find out 'til next September. But generally.. it was all happy.. hugs.. and you could work things out.
A magic land where all bad things wash away and bad Christmases where you got stuck at the airport om the way to visit grandma on Christmas eve and god this was gonna be the worst Christmas ever. Then suddenly the whole airport listened to the little girls why it was important to celebrate and be happy on Christmas where you were.. and ~~~**magically it was all better and happy..and some how the girls got presents cuz.. the man they thought was Uncle Joey dressed as Santa or something turned out to be the real Santa and the girls were happy and all the adults were dumm-founded cuz they don't beleive in Santa anymore. God ..i hate that old 'Was it really Santa who delivered all these presents??
..It's like.. f8ck ..YES it was Santa.. shut up so i can turn the T.V. off.
..whatever.. 'Full House' was full of sh8t.. and sometimes it was the only show you really wanted to watch.
But when Mr.T said .."Don't be a foo' .. stay in schoo' .. "..
..i don't think he meant..
..Stay in school.. stay there.. don't move on.. just stay there.. learn until your head explodes..!!
..if the latter were the case..i'd prolly be without a cranial lobe right about now.
There is alot of shit to do today. Yeh.. i drive Mike crazy.. he's been so damm tired.
I'm so stupid when i talk to him sometimes.. i end up just trailing off and a simple conversation gets too deep for him to deal with it.. and god i need watch that.
But when he hangs up the phone.. i still gotta go on and do whatever.. i can't hang my brain up either. Yeh..i need better structure and disipline.. but i've needed it scince i was little. Didn't get it.. and this is where i am.
I'm trying my best.. but Mike says i need to do things for myself.
..what..am i supposed to do something..then suddenly step back in gratification and say ..i did someting posotive for myself.. yay me!!
..i know he knows it is not that simple.. and allt his shit is my responsibility.
..but when you can't get help.. or you get fractured support..it does make things more difficult.
Yeh.. at this point.. i want out of school ..bad.. right now.
Thursday..that was my plan.. to get the Doctor release .. and quit.
..doesn't ever work the way you want it..does it??
I don't want to be alive either.. but i am.. hmm sheesh.
I will go in today.. and work with my advisor and counselors in the handi cap center..
work out a schedule.. and maybe cut back on the time i need to be at school. Or at least when i'm required. That 'required' part is fine. But.. finality is what i'm needing now. And that damm degree looming over me.
Shit.. guess i better stay in school like Uncle Jesee.. and maybe i'll get to be a star on some fluffy ABC sit-com.
..and maybe i can go severe my left ear..
..yeh.. sure.. i think i got some 10-10- 987 extension code to save money and make a 3 cents a minute call to Miguel.. naw better not.. he's sleeping. And well.. i better go crash my head now.. cuz it's gonna be a long day today.. oii..
..kiss me g'night, Unca Jesee.. ^o^
..>v<
domingo, febrero 08, 2004
-->> 
..Full House will psychologically cripple.. part 1 of 2..
..i don't know if the show was supposed a whiter take on the Cosby Show.. killing off the mom and having the 1/2 gay raise his 3 (4 if you count 'both' Michelles) daughters with the help of his 1/2 gayer looking brother's-in-law in San Diego.. (was Uncle Joey even really related by blood or marriage to Danny ..i don't rememebr..i know Jesee was the Mom's brother..)..
Ugghh.. the show was just always there.. i didn't hate it at first.. but really..it had to be --Michelle--.. as she (they..the 'Olsen Twins') grew older..they grew less cuter.. and less talented it seemed.. sh7t.
That drew me further away from the show.
It came to the point ..Michelle was just annoying as hell.. and you soon would just slit your wrists on rusty x-acto blades than see Michelle whine again. Well ..maybe it was a good show. Maybe i'm just retarded. Soon Michelle just became a dawg.. and they had to bring in the two cute litte boy's of the Jesees' (see..i'm bad..i forgot the wife's name) to fill in the 'puppy' gap that Michelle grew out of..
Danny was just..oii.. everyone know's what happened to Bob Sagat (i think he played someone 1/2 gay in the 'Dumb and Dumber' prequal)..
Stephanie was ok.. she was the middle kid.. and it always sucked being the middle kid.. i hope she started some design firm somehwere's and is making a billion dollars so she can become estranged from her family.
Deej a.k.a. ..Candice Cameron..who's former-Growing Pains-teenage heartthrob brother became a big bible Movie star .. all around preachy jerk.. matured rather well.. but well i remember seeing her on VH1's "..love 80's" shows.. but i don't know what the f7ck she does now..
Deej's boy friend was the voice of Disney's Aladdin.. and i don't know if i rememebr his name or what.. and i know Jesee's wife still is acting alot.
..maybe they gave up they little twin boys for adoption or .. maybe they were baby geniuses and are now high ranking CEO's in Microsoft..
..the only one i really had a crush on was 'Kimmy Gibler' .. now.. i'd really love to see what the hell she is doing now. She was the dorky,jerkey,nerdy freek and friend.. you'd just hope she'd run out of the Tanner's house and into traffic.. get mauled by rampaging herd of yaks.. and then they's all hug and end the show.
But the girl who played her was just some damm good at being 'Kimmy' ..i bet to a much lesser scale.. she'd get type cast similarly to Jaleel white ..the guy forever known as 'Steve Urkel' ..i dunno. She alawys wanted to put posters of guys on her ceiling above her bed and she hoped the tape would wear off the wall so the poster would fall off the ceiling and on top of her. I know the feeling.. i had sex and ruined many of my own posters.
The Michelle's are the ones making bank on everything that is left of the 'Full House' cash cow. Guess i'm a fine one to talk ..even tho' they were born into fame.. they still make their marks on the world and ake the $$. They still make their awful 'direct to video' movies,had their own TV show,toys and dolls in their image, their own girls clothing line at Wal-mart, they even have their own lesbian incest photo manip porn images on the internet. I can deffinatly say i don't have my own incest photo manip porn images on the internet. I mean.. even if i did me and my lesbian twin wouldn't be making half as much bank as the Olsen Twins do.
John Stamos is still around.. acting and everything. Yeh i can dail 10-10-8379 or whatever the code is and save big money on calls to Texas.. i guess i could say Uncle Jesee was the 'hot one'.. but everyone wanted to have sex with Uncle Jesee.. and only the pretty lady that played Mrs.Jesee got to have sex with Uncle Jesee.. so.i dunno.
Uncle Joey was the lame one..really he was.. but well.. Uncle Joey had a 1-up on all of 'em. Besides loving movies and cartoons..
(..what cool uncle ISN't Like that?? ..or at least has lovable attributes like that ??)
..he was a Voice Actor.. and i think he still is.. of Baby Animal on 'Muppet Babies' and some of my other fave cartoons like 'Ghostbusters'.. so.. as a live actor..he sucked.. but damm he's got 'the voice' ..yeh..
.. if i could have slept with one uncle and be psychologically trauamtized from the later end of my childhood into adulthood..it'd been Uncle Joey.
..but nothing twisted..really happened in the Tanner house hold.. it was the perfect 'disfunctional' family.. all hugs and happiness at the end of every episode and morals and a clean house reigned..it was one big happy.
..trauma was not a word the Tanners' used.. everyone turned out just fine..
..ya know.. 'Life is a Cabaret' ..
..>v<