{ the dead archival }
** SCRATCH & DENT ARCHIVE OF ALL PAST POSTS : 2002 - 2008 Here @ **
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-->> tOkKA's main BLOGG - KRIB ( 4 now ) can be found HERE ::
@ ..quoting Macbeth .. :: ? ? .. ..
miércoles, febrero 18, 2004
-->>..cuck-oo..cock-oo
..J.C. looses it

.. hey.. LOOKIT THIS!!

.. and you all called me CRAZY!!
.. yeh you remember J.C. Chasez of *N-sync-stinky Foot Clan Boys..??
Justin Timberlake's Boy Band beginning.. .. it's his pal.. 'member??
..well , J.C. is a looney!!

..poor dude.. after the whole 'Janet's Booby' thing.. he wasn't allowed to perform at the NFL Pro-bowl.. dummy NFLs..!! >8(

..well anyway..the guy is looney.. just like me.. and he named his solo album after me and his favourite brain disease!!
Schizophrenia .. see.. i knew there wasn't somethin' quite right about those boy-bebop band guys.. gees.. o' well..

..at least i know i'm not the only one who thinks about sex all day.. i just don't go writing songs about it..

..i keed ..i keed.. to repeat after a certain 'rubber puppet puppy' ..

.. i need to go masturbate now.. bye bye..
..>v<


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domingo, febrero 15, 2004
-->> ..dah gee,danks!!
..pointless,hopeless romantic..n' an oil can..

..'The Wizard of OZ' and 'The Wiz' are 2 movies that have been on my mind alot the past several weeks.. a few posts ago i noted that while the Scarecrow was one who i prolly related to mentally.. emotionally.. the Tin Woodsman..(i call him Tin-man).. i seemed to always like when i was little and related to emotionally.
Yeh..pop-culture is a pain in the arse.. but Mike called me a sponge for this stuff.. so..what can you do??

The questions mount as i keep tryin' to get thru these manic days. I wanna make toys.. ..i want to have something that's my own.. and something i can say 'I DO'..other than just trying to die all the time. But the questions will always be there.
..
..building..so yeh.. all i can define Miguel is as..'My Best Friend'.
He worries that i don't have a plan.. i'll pick up where i left off on Monday.. school was something that i was looking at quitting a week ago or so.. but i guess i'm stuck so i better try to make it thru.

why do i need Mike.. why do i need anyone..?? why why why..
.. i don't know.. it's like my 'Oil Can'.. it keeps me going. Yeh.. i guess i don't need to 'Find' Mike.. he's always with me..in every moment and every emotion.. and in the bitterest and sweetest of moments..and at ground zero.. he makes me happy.. and brings me joy. so.. i dunno.. it feels right.. even if we're just friends..
who knows what the future brings.
We need this time now.. to slow down and work and think. Perhaps alot of this is very good.

//.. i think what Miguel was trying to tell me all along ..and it's too bad i only realise it now.. that the whole time i was loved.. i didn't need to worry about my heart. It was always there..
'..and my heart was not judged by how much i love..but how much i am loved by others..'
..i am loved by many.. and to whatever of extent it is.. i am loved by Mike.

//..perhaps i just need a little tickin' heart..

If I Only Had a Heart

When a man's an empty kettle he should be on his mettle,
And yet I'm torn apart.

Just because I'm presumin' that I could be kind-a-human,
If I only had heart.

I'd be tender - I'd be gentle and awful sentimental
Regarding Love and Art.

I'd be friends with the sparrows ...
and the boys who shoots the arrows
If I only had a heart.

Picture me - a balcony. Above a voice sings low.

Wherefore art thou, Romeo? ..I hear a beat....
How sweet.

Just to register emotion, jealousy - devotion,
And really feel the part.

I could stay young and chipper
and I'd lock it with a zipper,
If I only had a heart.

..i like it when i can feel what is in my heart.. tic' -tic'- tic' ..
..nuff' from me..i love you all.
..>v<

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