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viernes, mayo 14, 2004 -->> ..anybody gotta sedative and a quarter ounce bucket of honey?? ..>v< ..? ? ? ? ?..   miércoles, mayo 12, 2004 -->> ..schizo serotonin.. I'm very sure these medicines are great for those not sensative to them. I finished off my Lexapro a matter of days ago. But after missing 4 weeks of school from after the first time i took it.. i went down hill pretty bad.. it may have just been the continual spiraled circle i was going into. I dunno.. but i was reluctant to continue on it.. the schizophrenic medicine.. at this point.. i'm not convinced they will ever let me go off of. But i've had worse meds with worse side effects.. so..i'm taking that with trepadation..but still taking it. I asked doctor monday to put be back on Prozac.. that medicine was bad news when i was a kid.. but i was only on it a short period of time as an adult so.. i dunno..it's all i could really think of. I need somthing i guess.. as much as i hate medicine.. if there is a chance in hell this sh7t will make me feel less suicidal and give me some drive to get thru' these extremly dark times.. well.. fine. Or i could take it..it will fuck with my brain the wrong way again and i'll be heading over to the Nevada bridge trying out my balancing act over the train tracks. -- The gentleman who was slaughtered in Iraq..they cut off the poor man's head.. prolly the first time i've cryed out of all these war stories the NPR radio telling. My god. My hatred for President Bush and Rumsfeld and all those puppeted and heartless bastards up there..it's just toppled. I don't fucking understand what this country means anymore.. nor do i understand what this world means.. i mean i thought i was done trying to figure it out. These ladies and guys that fought in the war.. they walk around me.. there are signs saying.. 'Welcome Back Troops' 'Thank you,Troops' from your Friendly neiborhood 'Wal-mart' and 'Pepsi cola Bottler'. More crying mothers.. more dieing civilians over the desert.. more 'Prisnor abuses' ..more Soldiers dieing. ..i just want to cry..i miss Miguel.. i hate you so much ,Mr.President.. i hate you so much. ..>v< ..? ? ? ? ?..   domingo, mayo 09, 2004 -->> ..>v< ..? ? ? ? ?..